[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 February 2022].
From Wikipedia: During the Victorian era, the hollyhock symbolised both ambition and fecundity in the language of flowers.
the angel weeps
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 January 2022].
eye on london
Today is my eleventh Londonversary!
To celebrate, here's a selection of photographs I took from the London Eye back in 2012 that I finally edited over the weekend.
a low ebb
2020 had its challenges, but I’m not going to lie. For me, personally, 2021 was a bitch.
I’m not going to expend more energy expanding upon that topic in this post.
I’ve tried to stop giving oxygen to elements in my life that proved to be unhealthy this year. Possibly for the first time in my whole life, that involved cutting ties with an ex-partner.
While this year has been a hard one for many reasons, there have been definite highlights.
And, especially when I was sick with Covid-19 back in July, I was overwhelmingly reminded of the brilliant global support network I have. I’m still gobsmacked by that. To those of you part of that network, both family and friends (and I’m sure you know who you are), I send you my love, and I’m forever grateful for you.
Before things went a bit more than pear-shaped this year, I managed to complete another 100 Day Project starting on 31 January 2021. I had a proper go at sketching every day. And, while I don’t profess to be a master illustrator, even after those 100 days, I created some not so terrible drawings.
The 100 Day Project for the coming year will start on 13 February 2022. I’ve had a few ideas of what I’d like to do, but we’ll see which one I settle upon.
Through my Patreon, I shared writings from my attempts at NaNoWriMo in 2009 and 2016. These are still rough second drafts and are currently only available to patrons.
I shared curated series from my sepulchre work, mushroom photographs, and travel photography.
I started my series of love letters to london, which I’d hoped to complete in 2021, but I will continue into 2022.
This year I took self-portraits for the first time since mid-2018 and have shared some that continue my interior/exterior series or fall into my new wallflowers series. I already have images from the latter to share in the new year.
I won’t bore you with my plant progress this year but suffice to say, my indoor plants fared better than the garden.
And I wrote actual handwritten letters for the first time in decades, inspired (or guilted?) by my friend Phil.
The things I let fall by the wayside this year were reading (beyond news articles of varying lengths) and language studies. Both I want to get back into in 2022.
In May, I unexpectedly found myself confronted by what is believed to be the oldest tree in London. A beautiful yew, she may be 2,000 years old.
She was more impressive up close than from a distance. I’ll share more close-ups of her beautiful contours in the new year, though I shared one previously.
In May, there was also a pleasant day out in Hertford. Exploring the source of the New River and wandering along the River Lea. Though there was also a bull charging me for photographing him!
In October, Scott and I explored the section of the New River (not new, not a river) between Hornsey and Finsbury Park.
At the end of 2020, I wasn’t overly hopeful for much travel this year. I would have settled for a weekend away somewhere within the UK.
Thanks to one of my longest-suffering friends, Phil, I visited Chichester and Bosham (first image in this post),
Itchenor
arundel cathedral
and Arundel.
untitled #203
And thanks to a cat-sitting gig for Jo and Becky, I was able to visit Minera,
untitled #144
Coedpoeth
and Wrexham.
However, the most unexpected and surprisingly fulfilling element of 2021 for me was becoming a cat-sitter.
Growing up and into my 20s and beyond, I was always a dog person. I couldn’t fathom cats. I would have said honestly at one point that I hated cats. So cat-sitting was not even close to being on my bingo card for 2021.
But really, in retrospect, I think it was more that I didn’t understand cats.
A chance pub quiz with friends led to me becoming a cat-sitter for the first time this year, and it’s something I hope to continue into 2022 and beyond.
There are side bonuses, like exploring new areas of London and beyond and locations for shooting self-portraits. And going “on holiday” but being paid for it.
But I’m not going to lie that the kitteh snuggles are lovely, and winning over an anxious or difficult kitteh brings a particular buzz with it. (Though I would be all good with less claw-to-skin action in demonstrations of affection…)
So, in order of appearance, here are the cool cats I’ve met this year (apologies for the photo quality with some. I hope to get better photos of them in future!)
Shiloh
Susie
Bao
Paczi
Meg
Mog
Sammy
Lily
Poppy
I’m not going to chance my hand predicting what 2022 will hold. But I have credit for travel that will hopefully take me back to Wales and Scotland, so that’s a positive start.
Anything else is a bonus.
I hope your 2022 is better than 2021.
untitled #15
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 December 2021].
And here's the final season's grievings image for 2021!
I hope you've enjoyed these again this year.
Let me know in the comments if you think I should continue sharing these in December 2022, or if you've had enough of this curated series!
untitled #27
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 December 2021].
This image is the 'before' picture of sister.
A good deed was done between captures by my companion in righting the Christmas tree that had fallen during the previous night's heavy rain.
And this is the penultimate season's grievings image for 2021!
reindeer, roses and wreaths
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 19 December 2021].
untitled #30
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 December 2021].
untitled #9
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 December 2021].
fruitful
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 December 2021].
Love letters to London: Rivers, canals and waterways
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 November 2021].
It's been a long time between drinks, but I'm finally sharing another love letter to London!
This was supposed to be a project I published once a month this year to celebrate my ten-year Londonversary. Despite being well behind target for various reasons, I am hoping to complete the project this year. (Or, failing that, by my eleven-year Londonversary in January 2022.)
So, if you've been thirsting for more, you'll be pleased to know this one is bursting with water. Perhaps not so pleased to hear it's not the potable kind.
As mentioned in my ode to the wild life I've discovered (not that type, this type), the subject of this love letter isn't vaguely exclusive to London or even the UK.
But rivers, canals and waterways are prominent features in this city. Even the subterranean or "lost" rivers.
Here are just a few of my favourites.
River Thames
It's hard to imagine London without the River Thames threading through it from east to west. It's been such an integral element of the city since its establishment, and according to Wikipedia, "has played several roles in human history: as an economic resource, a maritime route, a boundary, a fresh water source, a source of food and more recently a leisure facility."
Probably my first awareness of the Thames' existence was through the title sequence of EastEnders and the Thames Television ident. Both of which I regularly saw on Australia's ABCTV during my childhood.
Growing up in Brisbane and Melbourne, where the Brisbane and Yarra Rivers are central to each city, the Thames just seemed like more of the same. And it kind of is, except at London Bridge, the Thames is about double the width the Yarra is at Princes Bridge, which is what I was comparing it to when I first crossed it.
Like the Yarra, it mostly takes on a muddy brown tinge. But in the right light, it appears a lovely blue. And at night - with the various bridges spanning it and buildings and landmarks lining north and south banks lit up - it has a beauty about it that almost always stops me in my tracks.
It's also one of the ideal ways to explore the city I love. And a place to start when introducing newcomers to London.
If you're ever struggling to decide where to go for a (photo) walk in London: choose north or south of the river and a starting point. Then walk until you run out of steam and find a cosy pub to rest your weary feet.
I've done this many times with many people, and I've still not walked the entire length of it within London.
And, if you want a different angle, there are plenty of spots where the river intersects with docks and basins. And even Bow Creek (the tidal estuary of the River Lea) by Trinity Buoy Wharf.
Regent's Canal
Speaking of basins that intersect with the Thames: Regent's Canal links with the River Thames via Limehouse Basin.
The canal winds its way through the east and across the north of London. Then over to the west of the Regent's Park.
I've not yet wandered the eastern arm of the canal with my D700. My visits to that part of the canal have often been during the evening or while lost after catching the wrong night bus home.
However, the sections from King's Cross to Camden and Camden to the Regent's Park have been the subject of at least two photo walks I've taken with friends. And a pleasant stroll with a former school teacher who was visiting the city a few years ago now.
While Venice and Amsterdam are far more renowned for their canals, coming from Australia, where there are few canals, I've developed something of an obsession with London's canals.
Photographically, London's canals are such a brilliant mix of posh and dirty. They often pass through the grandest suburbs and give you a glimpse at the rear of impressive homes. Whilst littered with abandoned objects, rubbish and plenty of graffiti.
The sections of Regent's Canal I've walked along most often pass through the regenerated King's Cross with its newly established Gasholder Park. Through iconic Camden. Along the south of fashionable Primrose Hill. And through the northern border of the Regent's Park itself.
There is plenty of birdlife to be found on and by the water. And a nice mix of natural and industrial decoration lining it.
The locks, in particular, always intrigue me.
There are always reflections to reward your photographic eye.
And I have something of a fascination with the narrowboats that line the canals of London. I'm not sure how practical I'd find narrowboat life, in actuality. But they have a similar appeal to me as caravans have had for most of my life.
Grand Union Canal - Paddington Arm
A more recent addition to my list of London canals visited, the Paddington arm of the Grand Union Canal has a lot going for it in my books.
As the longest merged canal in the UK, the Grand Union Canal runs from London to Birmingham. And, interestingly, includes Regent's Canal in its length.
I've walked a relatively short stretch of this canal. But it's notable for me as it runs between the Kensal Green Gasworks on the Ladbroke Grove side and Kensal Green Cemetery, one of the 'Magnificent Seven' cemeteries.
Or rather, it did, as the Kensal Green Gasworks started to be demolished in March this year to make way for new residential development (of course).
New River
Which now brings me, finally, to waterways.
More specifically, the New River, which is, in fact, neither new nor a river. But it has a soft spot in my heart as it runs through my part of London.
I'm still to fully explore it to the north, from Hornsey to Enfield and beyond. And from Finsbury Park to its terminus. But I've had a pint by the water's edge in Enfield before, and I've seen (and photographed) its source near Hertford.
I hope to undertake the walk north along the New River Path sometime soon (though possibly not until the weather warms again!) And to share photos from that and my previous walk - from Hornsey south to Finsbury Park - with you in a selection of photo essays.
untitled #18
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 September 2021].
Sometimes everything feels too much.
I feel too much.
I feel too much.
I feel too much.
Today my shoulders have been aching from stress and tension, and the past week I've had two flare-ups of vasculitis. I'm nursing my wounds. Physical, emotional and mental.
I've been kept busy and distracted by client work today.
A long call with a friend and a very brief call with my Mum and Dad in the wee hours of the morning helped somewhat last night.
Tonight I've reverted back to my hermit life. Editing photos in the dark, listening to music, with the rain outside punctuating the pauses.
My sanctuary. My sanity. My safe space.
until the day break and the shadows flee away
untitled #79
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 14 August 2021].
respect your elders
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 August 2021].
in isolation
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 18 July 2021].
Today feels like it's been two days.
An hour before midnight, Anna Maria Drutzel and I started what became a 5-hour-and-15-minute epic call. As usual, it was full of hope, dreams, plans, art, nostalgia, heartache, loss, catharsis and love. A whirlwind of words and thoughts.
After catching up on a flurry of messages and comments from friends and family, I finally called "my" Saturday a day and went to bed about 5:30.
About 10:00, I was woken by the NHS Test and Trace team, but not realising who was calling, I let the call go to voicemail. An hour and a half later, I caught up with my Dad on Skype to update him on everything and catch up on where things are at with him.
I managed not to take any painkillers today, and I'm feeling much better than yesterday.
I've had a few light-headed moments and waves of fatigue. I'm guessing that's likely to continue for a while, so I'm being gentle with myself and trying not to overdo things. Despite feeling I have so much to catch up on, and though I'd hoped for a full day of photo editing today.
The morning proper brought with it more messages and comments to reply to.
In the past month, I've been overwhelmingly reminded of the bounty I have in friends and family as they've rallied around me through the latest trial or tribulation. As each new wave bowls me over, my people bowl me over with their love, concern, support and encouragement. Again and again. I am so incredibly thankful for them. Every one.
As physically isolated as I am right now, for most of today, I've felt anything but.
But as the day closes once more, the silence, absence and emptiness feel palpable.
Where usually I'd be ecstatic at having my flat all to myself, it feels full of ghosts tonight. The occasional light breeze drifts through my bedroom and disturbs a million thoughts hanging in the air.
Though physically, I feel much better and stronger than I have for days, my heart feels weaker tonight. Broken once again. The pieces lay scattered across the floorboards still.
Usually, I would drown this feeling. Wash it away with amber waves. But I've had no such potion in the house since last Wednesday night.
So instead, I'm drowning in this feeling. And will likely seek another early night to find a release from the clamouring thoughts. And hope that, in the morning, they will shake free of my hair when I rise.
locked out
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 July 2021].
So today, continuing the theme for the year, the result for the PCR test I took yesterday came back positive for Covid-19.
Because, of course.
Though, hilariously, because of everything else that's already happened this year, somehow, this is the least upsetting or disappointing piece of news I've received in the past seven to eight months.
It just seems like another piece of the puzzle that is my 2021.
Thank Science, I'd already had one dose of the vaccine, so the worst of it already seems to have passed.
No thanks to all the English football fans on the Tube on Sunday shouting 'It's coming home!' at the top of their lungs. While wearing masks around their necks instead of over their massive gobs.
Even with all my obsessive hand-sanitising, masking and not touching a damned thing while commuting, I'm sure that's where I caught it. And based on my symptoms, I'd lay bets it was the much more contagious (but, thankfully, less deadly) Delta strain.
Amusingly, today, as I completed the NHS Test and Trace documentation after receiving my results, I realised I have, in fact, lost my sense of smell. Though not my sense of taste.
To confirm this, I:
sniffed heavily of my dried thyme (which has been my go-to for checking for covid previously),
stuck my nose into a large jar of peanut butter, and
sniffed rosemary and oregano in their bottles.
All registered a complete blank for scent.
Despite not having showered since leaving the flat at 11:30 yesterday to go for the PCR test, further confirmation has been provided by my apparent lack of body odour at 19:00 the next day. Anyone who knows me and knows how I sweat in 26-degree heat (yesterday's temperature), especially after walking for more than 90 minutes, knows this is a physical impossibility. My sense of smell has definitely left the building.
And, I guess, so has my shock and indignation at anything 2021 has left to throw at me.
on the fence
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 July 2021].
Despite the hormonal cocktail of the past weekend and a bit, it was predominantly filled with much-needed human interactions.
Long conversations - both virtual and face-to-face - with people I've had long-lasting friendships with.
A mix of topics, a mix of emotions. But all, ultimately, supportive, inspiring, empathetic. And, once again, demonstrating how lucky I am to have built up such a wonderfully supportive network of humans around me.
I had the chance to repay one of those good friends by visiting him in hospital yesterday while he's in for observation. (He's doing well and in good spirits). That's pretty much the only way you'll ever manage to lure me into central London on the day of a football final, especially where England are in the finals and hosting them.
Unfortunately, England's loss last night resulted in an utterly predictable outpouring of racism, hooliganism and destruction. I'm not convinced a win would have changed that aspect of the night. The only positive I took from the situation was a deathly silence post-game which I would not have enjoyed if they had won.
On the positive side: venturing into the city yesterday provided me with a chance to refocus my attention on someone else's situation and away from my interior monologue.
We had a two-plus hour conversation about our respective futures. About writing. About my art. About grasping opportunities.
On the negative side: I finally saw the National Covid Memorial Wall along the Thames, below St Thomas' Hospital, firsthand. It was overwhelming in its sheer extent, and I didn't have the emotional strength to walk the length of it. The complete lifting of England's covid restrictions in a week feels all too soon.
Some contract work I've been doing has now ended. My latest freelance gig was completed last week. So this week, I will be busy drumming up some new work, creating for you, and having at least one potential flatmate viewing my flat.
I also have many ideas whirling around in my head that I'd like to start developing.
And, at least for the rest of this evening, I'll be enjoying the sound of the rain outside my window while I edit more photos.
I hope your week is full of rainbows after the storms x
under gloucester avenue
[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 July 2021].
untitled #25
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 25 June 2021].
I've decided it's about time my collection of fungi images were brought out of the dark and into the light more regularly.
So welcome to a new curated series I'll share with you going forward on #FungiFriday: the fungus among us.
This fellow was perched on the side of a tree on the side of the path on Parkland Walk.