children's mental health gallery

I'm pleased to share three of my self-portraits are included in the Children's Mental Health Gallery, created by The Royal Children's Hospital Melbourne.

Raising awareness of mental health through art, the gallery showcases artwork about mental health experiences.

They are dedicated to amplifying and celebrating lived experiences of mental health challenges and recovery.

The gallery launched on 10 October 2022 as part of Mental Health Week 2022 and will be accessible for six months until 10 May 2023.

I strongly encourage you to take a look at the gallery. There's a variety of photography, painting, collage and sculpture, as well as audio and written works.

The artwork comes from a mixture of those supported by The Royal Children's Hospital and those, like me, who were invited to contribute and have lived/living experiences of mental health challenges and recovery.

(I intended to share this back in October but, you know, life).

self-portrait* in blue

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 August 2022].}

I had two other prompts already written down to try with Midjourney AI before deciding it would be remiss not to try something (in theory) more personal.

I was curious how much - if at all - the AI was trawling the internet for references.

I'd seen people entering 'in the style of [artist name]', and I'd obviously used 'art deco' in my previous prompt.

So, my mischievous side came out and for my third and final prompt before my trial ran out, I entered 'bronwen hyde, self-portrait, blue'.

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self-portrait* in blue [variations]

The initial four options and the second four options Midjourney gave me can be seen in the second image.

I wavered a little between the image I chose and the top right and bottom left options in the first four. The second set of four didn't appeal to me as much stylistically.

In the end, as I had only a few variations and upscale "turns" left, I worked just with the top left image from the first four options. This was my final result before my trial ended.

Clearly, it's not me, but I feel like some options remind me of Cindy Sherman and maybe Sigourney Weaver. So it is interesting to think about how Midjourney learns and what it picks up as sources.

I'll probably sign up for a subscription for a month to play with the tool more and see whether it's something I find helpful as a part of my art practice.

But either way, it was an engaging and intriguing way to spend a couple of hours on a Friday evening.

art deco annie

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 August 2022].}

The second prompt I gave Midjourney AI was 'art deco, portrait, night, lamp'.

This image was my favourite result, though I have to admit I didn't play too much with creating variations for this. I felt with a few tweaks, it came up well.

I did get the AI to give me an alternative set of options before I received a notification that I had a limited number of free images left to create.

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art deco annie [variations]

In the second image (left to right), you can see the original four options Midjourney generated for my prompt. And then the second four options.

death in the afternoon

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 August 2022].}

Yesterday afternoon, scrolling through my feed on Facebook, I saw some artwork by a fellow photographic artist I follow, Rebecca Tolk, and was intrigued by it. Especially when she mentioned the work was created using artificial intelligence.

Although the work looked amazing, my initial thinking was similar to what I soon found out was Rebecca's initial question: "How is this her art?"

Wanting to understand more, I watched the replay of a Facebook Live video she made. Rebecca explains how she sees this tool fitting into her practice and how she has seen others use it in their practice.

If you have the time, it's well worth a watch to understand the 'why', and it gives a sense of how I could potentially see it fitting into my practice too.

For example:

• To create elements for inclusion in mixed media artworks without having to go out and photograph each of them (especially if they're not easily accessible for me).

• To create elements for my digital collages.

• To inspire and draft out ideas for photographs or collages.

• To storyboard potential short films I'd like to make, especially to give a sense of mood and atmosphere. This would be particularly helpful as my illustration skills are still quite rudimentary.

And, obviously, there's the option to use it in the most straightforward way to create art in and of itself. Though I think I would have to become more familiar with how it works and how to "work it" to consider it more "my artwork" than the AI's.

So, I took some time yesterday afternoon to experiment with a free trial of Midjourney AI to see what I thought.

As Rebecca points out in her video, your free trial images and variations don't take long to exhaust. And working in a massive group chat with so many other people can be overwhelming. Though also inspiring to see what other people are using as prompts and how they are using Midjourney.

It can be hard to track your results, and I'm not entirely sure I found all my variations as I was still learning to use the tools. If I decide to sign up for a limited subscription, I believe you get your own workspace. That will make it easier and cleaner to focus on what I'm doing and learn more about how to use it.

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death in the afternoon [variation #1]

But these are two variations from the prompt 'death in the afternoon' that I created yesterday afternoon.

The first image was actually my second option and variation, but it was the one I liked more. The branch coming out of nowhere is the sort of thing I would edit out as it's obviously a bit of a glitch in the AI. In the preview, it looked like it might be the blade of a sickle.

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death in the afternoon [variations]

The third image shows (from left to right):

• The initial selection of four AI-rendered images Midjourney presented me with, of which I selected the top left.

• The variations it created from that image when I triggered it, of which I selected the bottom right.

• An alternative set of four AI-rendered images Midjourney presented when I requested a redo. I didn't get to work with these as I didn't see them initially, and I used up the rest of my free trial working on two other prompts.

I definitely don't see AI art replacing my existing practice. But I can see how it might enhance my work and/or be another tool or medium for me to create art.

I'll share the other two images I created yesterday later in the day, but I'd be curious to know your thoughts.

until the day break and the shadows flee away

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 15 August 2021].}

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untitled #22 [st andrew’s church, totteridge village, barnet, london, england, 2021]

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until the day break and the shadows flee away [st andrew’s church, totteridge village, barnet, london, england, 2021]

first we take manhattan...

^{[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 June 2021].}

So, a mere ten days ago, I wrote about feeling like my heart had been torn out of my chest. It turns out he didn't get it all the first time, and today I learned that the hard way.

Yesterday was hard. I was tender and tired and anxious but simultaneously hopeful and cautiously optimistic.

Clearly, I had no idea what today would bring.

I thought the worst would be less time between drinks. I didn't know last drinks had already been called while I was away powdering my nose.

And today, all the fight has gone out of me.

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untitled [tacheles, berlin, germany, 2001]

I didn't get to post a photograph from my travels before I had to take some time out last night, so I'm sharing these 35mm film photos of Tacheles in Berlin that I took in 2000 tonight.

Memories from 20 years ago that might have been revisited with another. But apparently, that's not to be.

Tacheles, as it was in 2000, feels like such an appropriate metaphor for how I feel right now: half-demolished, half-derelict, yet full of art and creativity, and somehow still standing despite everything. Somehow. It also had a beer garden.

I scanned these today from glossy black and white prints with the Photomyne app on my iPhone. For me, it's no substitute for scanning negatives with a proper flatbed scanner. While it may be worthwhile for some, I think I'll save my money to put toward an actual negative and photo scanner so I can share my older work with you from time to time.

Also, after a long week or so of sunshine and warm weather, today is closing with rain as it was ten days ago. I believe a thunderstorm is coming our way.

The rain and The Cure are intermingling to alternately calm me and punctuate my sorrow.

076 skull

Day seventy-six of The 100 Day Project for 2021.

This possibly takes the cake for the worst sketch of the project so far.

If not, it's up there with the tuxedo cat (her name's Susie, by the way!), aeroplane and beetle and possibly some others.

Which is a pity as it seemed to start off so well. Oh well... I knew I could never match Ron Mueck's skill anyway.

I was lucky to be in Melbourne for the 2018 National Gallery of Victoria Triennial. I was able to see the brilliant work of Ron Mueck, Yayoi Kusama and many other artists in the flesh. And catch up with fellow photographer and longtime friend Chris Zissiadis.

The triennial took place this year, so I've missed that. But maybe I'll be back in Australia in time for the next one in 2024.

The original sketch was drawn with a 4H pencil, then overdrawn and shaded with an HB pencil.

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042 the arch

Day forty-two of The 100 Day Project for 2021.

Frankly, yesterday felt shite.

Today is not feeling much better so far because I'm still awake from yesterday.

What I'd do right now for just one week without some drama, some stress, some misunderstanding, and just an "easy ride". One week in which I felt like the cake in my hands won't explode in my face at any minute.

Yesterday I chose to sketch Henry Moore's The Arch from a photo I took on a walk with my friend, Phil, in 2018. Just because it seemed straightforward-ish, and it was. Thankfully.

Apart from knowing it stands in Kensington Gardens because I photographed it there in 2018, I didn't really know much about it until I Googled it just now.

As often happens for me, the choice was at least somewhat synchronistic.

Moore commented:

One of the things I would like to think my sculpture has is a force, is a strength, is a life, a vitality from inside it, so that you have the sense that the form is pressing from inside trying to burst or trying to give off the strength from inside itself...

This quote fits how I think about myself and many other artists I know. A force. A  strength. A vitality coming from inside and pressing, fit to burst.

So when that vitality and strength feels like it's being held down, there's a struggle. There's a disconnect. I do not feel myself.

I've had to compartmentalise so much of myself over the decades. Through work, relationships, family, friends, social media. That I now actively rebel against that and struggle with being asked to do it, even if I understand the reasons and, ultimately, respect requests to do so.

Henry Moore goes on to say:

This is, perhaps, what makes me interested in bones as much as in flesh because the bone is the inner structure of all living form.

This compartmentalisation feels like chipping away at bones. Breaking and weakening my foundations. Foundations that take time to repair. To strengthen. So I will resist. Even if, ultimately, I break.

I sketched the sculpture in 4H then went over the outline with an HB pencil.

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a supreme sea view

^{[I originally posted this image as early access for my Patreon patrons on 13 January 2021].}