[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 December 2024].
pay here
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 March 2024].
cafe inside
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 9 February 2024].
locked out
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 July 2021].
So today, continuing the theme for the year, the result for the PCR test I took yesterday came back positive for Covid-19.
Because, of course.
Though, hilariously, because of everything else that's already happened this year, somehow, this is the least upsetting or disappointing piece of news I've received in the past seven to eight months.
It just seems like another piece of the puzzle that is my 2021.
Thank Science, I'd already had one dose of the vaccine, so the worst of it already seems to have passed.
No thanks to all the English football fans on the Tube on Sunday shouting 'It's coming home!' at the top of their lungs. While wearing masks around their necks instead of over their massive gobs.
Even with all my obsessive hand-sanitising, masking and not touching a damned thing while commuting, I'm sure that's where I caught it. And based on my symptoms, I'd lay bets it was the much more contagious (but, thankfully, less deadly) Delta strain.
Amusingly, today, as I completed the NHS Test and Trace documentation after receiving my results, I realised I have, in fact, lost my sense of smell. Though not my sense of taste.
To confirm this, I:
sniffed heavily of my dried thyme (which has been my go-to for checking for covid previously),
stuck my nose into a large jar of peanut butter, and
sniffed rosemary and oregano in their bottles.
All registered a complete blank for scent.
Despite not having showered since leaving the flat at 11:30 yesterday to go for the PCR test, further confirmation has been provided by my apparent lack of body odour at 19:00 the next day. Anyone who knows me and knows how I sweat in 26-degree heat (yesterday's temperature), especially after walking for more than 90 minutes, knows this is a physical impossibility. My sense of smell has definitely left the building.
And, I guess, so has my shock and indignation at anything 2021 has left to throw at me.
shards of glass
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 June 2021].
O hai.
For today's* share, may I present you with a reflected self-portrait taken looking up at the metal on the covered area around Gasholder Park in King’s Cross?
I took this toward the beginning of a photo walk along Regent's Canal in London with fellow photographer and good friend Scott Hortop in November 2016.
I have photos from that day of the development in progress still to edit and share.
I have also been working through some of the photos from that day for my Love letters to London. Thus how I came across this one again, previously unedited and unshared, though I shared a similar shot from my iPhone on the day.
Even though it's now officially Friday here in London, let's pretend this is a #ThrowbackThursday post. Something I haven't done for a while. At least not in terms of self-portraits.
Walking along the canal that day, I was called back by an agency offering me work with a company I'd interviewed with on the day after the 2016 US election. A day when the world felt like it had inexorably turned away from sanity. The last company I worked for as an employee (for now, but maybe forever...?) I started there four days later as a temp.
The agency called me as I walked along the canal not far from the second office of the first employer I worked for in London in 2000. Maybe I should have seen that as an omen...
*Today being Thursday, though it's now technically Friday. There's a strong chance I'll share a Friday photo in a short while, as I'll be out much of tomorrow.
086 bottle opener
Day eighty-six of The 100 Day Project for 2021.
So, my attempt to render the moose's arse was less successful.
I mean, the moose head-on wasn't perfect, but it was more successful than today's attempt.
There are so many things wrong with this that I can't be bothered to detail. You have eyes ;)
I'm not annoyed. Just tired.
I was up watching my school friend, Nigel's, funeral on a live stream from 3:30 until 4:15 this morning and called it "a night" about 5:00.
Despite my best intentions to start work at 09:00, I just didn't have it in me. But, in the meantime, alarms and Slack notifications and dreams about work-related things permeated that time, so it wasn't a proper sleep-in.
Tomorrow I'm taking the day off to meet Scott. A good friend I've not seen in the flesh since before the pandemic started. Though we've managed a few virtual beers/ciders together in that time, and we're both due to virtually attend a mutual friend, Jane's, wedding on Saturday night.
You bet I'm disappointed not to be at a winery in Virginia, USA, on Saturday to celebrate with her.
Instead, I'll be sat at my desk, likely in my pyjamas, drinking cheap prosecco or red wine, if I'm lucky, while I watch from afar.
But at least I'll be able to be there vicariously. As I was in the wee hours this morning for an old friend who I'd mostly lost touch with since high school, but wish I hadn't.
Today's sketch was initially drawn with a 4H pencil, then overdrawn with an HB pencil.
Hug your people for me, okay?
085 bottle opener
Day eighty-five of The 100 Day Project for 2021.
So, this puppy... or rather, moose... is one of my favourite objects.
I don't know how he found his way into my parents' kitchen utensil drawer. Whether it was from their travels to Canada. Through my Mum's parents' travels there. Or via my Uncle, who lived in Calgary with his family for most of my childhood.
But, eventually, he made his way into the utensil drawer of the flat my parents bought. The flat each of us children lived in for a period in our late teens and/or early twenties.
And, eventually, I "adopted" him. So he has travelled from Canada to London by way of Melbourne and Brisbane, and possibly even Canberra and Darwin.
Not only is he sturdy and stylish. He's functional.
Unless I need to open a bottle stoppered with a cork, I will always turn to his majestic antlers for assistance. I get offended when Simon uses a commonplace bottle opener instead of him to open a bottle.
Not your average tacky souvenir, this one, even if he's not exactly rare and exclusive.
I sketched him with a 4H pencil. Then I overdrew and shaded small areas with an HB pencil.
049 ring
Day forty-nine of The 100 Day Project for 2021.
I think I thought this would be easier to draw.
But for some reason, my eyes and my hand couldn't coordinate to really make it work. And, to be honest, my heart wasn't in it to make it work any better than this today.
I think that's part of why I've always struggled to draw.
I can visualise myself drawing effortlessly, skillfully. I can imagine my hand and fingers guiding the pencil to make the lines just so. But the communication between my hand and eyes is never as strong as I think it is when I imagine drawing something.
There was a second or two when I almost tore out the page, put my visual diary away and crawled back into bed.
But I'm a completist, so I determinedly fought the urge. I focussed on the photo on my phone I'd taken earlier in the afternoon when I'd felt more positively. And I finished it. But I think my internal struggle shows in the finished product.
What started as a better day - a day of rest, self-care and a much-needed pep talk full of positive distractions from a friend - unravelled when gently poked later in the afternoon.
I'm still feeling raw and vulnerable, and I don't know when that feeling will stop. I wish it would stop.
I sketched with a 4H, then shaded and drew over the outline with an HB pencil.
022 barbed wire
Day twenty-two of The 100 Day Project for 2021.
I managed to finish this about ten minutes before midnight on day twenty-two. But obviously, that didn't leave enough time to get it posted on the day.
Today was a long day, but it ended with some art, so I'll say no more.
This was all drawn with an HB pencil.
I think I did okay, considering that by the time I'd hit the first barb, I'd realised I'd probably bit off more than I could chew for "a quick sketch".
In case you're unsure, I worked left to right on this one, and as may be obvious, when it started getting more repetitive, I lost my nerve and kept making mistakes. But I think I managed to bring it back okay.
I find it funny that often when I'm drawing or as I finish, I think, "Meh, I kind of hashed that today." But then, when I photograph it and look at it on a screen, suddenly it seems to fall together better than I initially thought. Not perfect or exceptional. But more convincingly than I first believed.
I hope you had a lovely weekend. Or at least nicer than mine x
take a long walk off a short pier
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 August 2020].
So, I 'lost' a week to the heatwave. And just as that finally finished I found out my Dad was in hospital.
He's home now, and the situation wasn't life-threatening because antibiotics. But let's just say the past couple of weeks have been stressful for me for the above reasons and others I won't go into right here, right now.
In that time, I did manage to:
get all my collages from The 100 Day Project up onto my blog and add credits for the illustrations to the posts on Patreon (in case you're interested),
decide retrospectively on a title for the project (to be revealed), and
think about what I would do with it next.
I know it's been much delayed but, once I can, I'll share my thoughts on the project and some other (hopefully) exciting information with you.
---
Over the past months, I've also been dealing with the impact of conspiracy theories on those around me. I'm thankful it doesn't include direct family. It's heartbreaking to watch friends being drawn into this, and I've had to step away from friends of over 10 years.
My condolences if you've also been dealing with this. A friend shared a tweet with me recently that garnered myriad comments which read like memorials and shared experiences about their friends and family members' deaths.
I'm not exaggerating to say it's felt like that to me at times. Having to 'let go' of people who I've had a mutual support system with and admired the photography and talents of for so long.
They're not dead. Just completely bought into these conspiracy theories. I can't watch it. It breaks my heart and is detrimental to my mental health.
---
On a lighter note: when I was creating my collages for The 100 Day Project, I came across George Du Maurier's illustration, Vae Victus, from Wives and daughters, volume one.
It sparked the idea for a series of collages entitled lost in her own world. I started creating collages for the series this evening. This image is one of four I've created so far, with more to come.
Each collage uses the same illustration with a variety of backdrops; all my photographs.
As you may have guessed, today's collage is entitled take a long walk off a short pier.
The title conveys how I feel about 2020 so far (despite this year allowing me lots of creativity and productivity thus far). And how I feel about those spreading conspiracy theories. But at the same time, it creates an idyllic backdrop for our protagonist to lose herself in.
Which feels much needed at this time.
ennui
Day fifty-eight of The 100 Day Project.
Illustrations:
Girl with orange by Louise Catherine Breslau from L'Estampe Moderne, volume two (May 1898 - April 1899)