[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 13 April 2024].
pause for thought
I thought I'd look through my archives of unedited self-portraits to find something from ten years ago that I may like to edit and share to celebrate my birthday.
In doing so, I found quite a number from a shoot I did in my bedroom in June 2014 that caught my eye after all this time.
I had previously edited a handful of photographs from the shoot, but ten years later, I'm drawn to other images.
As I don't share NSFW content at my lowest tier and can't share NSFW images on most social platforms, I decided to edit a photograph I could share publicly and one I could share early access to my patrons at 'the perfect 10' tier and above.
It's been a while since I added work to my interior/exterior series (coming up to three years), but I feel the image I shared on my Patreon in the wee hours of the morning, i fall in love too easily, fits into that series.
Maybe this one does, too.
I edited another NSFW image from this shoot that I'll share with my patrons at 'the perfect 10' tier and above in future.
I also shared a new self-portrait from my wallflowers series, let me hold your heart like a flower, with my patrons early access this morning. That will become public in a month.
glasgow eyes
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 April 2024].
For my final* trip courtesy of Avanti West Coast (AWC), I knew that, without a doubt, I wanted to return to Scotland. Because a) I wanted to return to Scotland after 13 years and b) I intended to get as much bang for my buck as possible with my complimentary tickets (because, of course).
I've visited Edinburgh three times, off the top of my head (I'm not counting passing through on my way to Arbroath in 2011). I attended the various festivals** in August 2000 and 2001 and returned to visit friends and revisit the festivals in August 2011.
However, I hadn't previously been to Glasgow.
Well, technically, I had. Dad's journal from my folks' visit to the UK in 2001 states, "Continued north on A737 through Dalry, Beith, and Johnstone on the M8 which is elevated for most of its way through Glasgow providing a good view over the city". That was late April, 23 years ago.
At least one friend had told me I should visit the city, and they rated it above Edinburgh. Admittedly, that was back when said friend and I regularly frequented gigs and nightclubs, but I was still keen to visit Edinburgh's "ugly sister"***.
A different friend was surprised I chose Glasgow. He warned me that, when visiting, he found it was "kinda just a place to live"; not like Edinburgh, which he'd expected. And, in some ways, it is. It's far less "pretty" and touristy than Edinburgh, but it did not disappoint.
The rain was not ideal, but if you've been to Edinburgh in festival season, as I did three years (two in a row, both camping just south of the city), you know that even in the Summertime, Edinburgh has its fair share of the wet stuff too.
The Glasgow Necropolis alone was worth the 4.5 to 5-hour train journey each way (even with the 20-minute delay travelling up and the 50-minute delay returning). The inclement weather and strong gusts of wind the first day I visited drove me away before I'd finished my explorations, so I wandered the cemetery for two consecutive afternoons and covered most of its grounds.
I spent the remainder of my first full afternoon absorbing art to escape the rain. I aimed for the Gallery of Modern Art and perused their exhibitions, but they weren't my style. On the way there, I stumbled across Castle Fine Art and the works of Bob Dylan, Billy Connolly and Johnny Depp, among other artists with less celebrity.
A friend I made while completing my residency at Hospitalfield in Arbroath in April/May 2011, John Fairfield, popped over from Dundee for a chinwag, bringing the sunshine with him. I was glad to have thought to message him, as we chatted as though we last met up 13 days - not 13 years - ago.
I captured Glasgow with blue skies while waiting for him to arrive, but the clouds had drawn in again when I returned to the Necropolis. All my photographs from this trip have a blue cast due to "Winter's dull light" (despite now being Spring). I've tried to correct it in these photographs of the Merchants House, but the results are noticeably variable between the three. I hope you'll forgive me.
On my final day, knowing the rain would be even worse than on previous days, I had thought to visit Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum, but I wasn't really in the right mood for it. And I felt it would be remiss not to even glimpse the River Clyde during my time in the city. So, I ventured out again with my camera and held my own with the rain until I could no longer. At which point, I popped into the oldest pub in Glasgow, The Scotia, for a cheeky pint before retiring to my accommodation.
As with Llandudno and Delamere, I took over 4GB of photographs and left inspired and pleased with my stay but aware I only scratched the city's surface.
When I booked my trip in mid-January, I had to work around pet-sitting bookings and colleagues' annual leave. I was restricted to booking tickets released by AWC before the date my vouchers expired. Consequently, I'd booked from 2-5 April, which was literally the last possible dates available and meant I hadn't booked for the weekend, as I probably would have if they'd been available.
While others may have felt the current round of train strikes highly inconvenient, they worked in my favour. ASLEF strikes affected all AWC services on Friday, 5 April, when I was due to return to London, so I transferred my booking to a similar service the next day, allowing me an additional day in the city. It did cost me an extra £128 in accommodation for the night. But I considered it money well-spent as I kept my subsistence costs down for each of my three trips and took advantage of free accommodation in exchange for sitting Peter, Mercury and Bowie while exploring Delamere.
I enjoyed my solo travel on all three occasions, and while I occasionally thought, "X would love this", I rarely wished I were travelling with others. I didn't have to stress about what my body was doing because someone else wanted to get an early start. I didn't have to spend excess money on food and drink eating out (I did order in/get room service (at no additional cost) on two occasions - once in Llandudno, once in Glasgow). And, despite my initial nerves about taking my camera out while wandering solo in Glasgow, I felt at home quite quickly on my first full day, and that concern passed.
As much as I loved my travels, I'm happy to be home again for a little while (albeit relatively briefly!) And not to have any pet-sittings until next week.
But I'll be back pet-sitting Francois on Tuesday and Thursday. I'll be in Bromley, sitting my regulars, for at least two nights late in the month. And then off up to Liverpool for work and a day of TOIL exploring that city. Then, a busy month of pet-sitting in May.
No rest for the wicked, eh?
*As mentioned in my previous post about my free journeys, I booked this one second, but chronologically, it was my final free first-class trip.
**The Edinburgh International Film Festival took place in August 2000 and 2001. They moved it to June in 2008.
***My words, I don't know that anyone else refers to Glasgow that way. I say it fondly without malice.
**The Edinburgh International Film Festival took place in August 2000 and 2001. They moved it to June in 2008.
***My words, I don't know that anyone else refers to Glasgow that way. I say it fondly without malice.
death in technicolour
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 8 April 2024].
A couple of flowering Camellia japonica trees brighten up the churchyard of St Peter's Church in Delamere.
Life and death side by side.
pyrus communis
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 April 2024].
Flowers of the common pear tree, captured on my photo walk from Delamere to Kelsall last month.
along the sandstone trail
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 April 2024].
It's already been a week since I returned from Delamere.
I managed to edit the above photo and a couple of others for a separate post before I travelled down to sit my regulars in Bromley on Wednesday evening. I'd hoped to write this post while there, but you know how sometimes you don't realise how tired you are until you stop? That.
So, I'm writing this on my one full day at home after my return from Bromley and before I head up to Glasgow for the best part of a week.
For my second trip courtesy of Avanti West Coast (well, technically, my third, as I booked it last and it was the 'bonus' trip I would give up if I couldn't afford the accommodation or my leave request was refused, but chronologically, it was the second), I opted to return to Manchester.
I figured that, as I'd visited the city quite a few times already, I wouldn't lose anything if I had to give it up, and it was a sufficient distance to justify the enjoyment of a first-class seat.
I looked at Airbnb options in and around the city but couldn't find any that stood out. I had decided I would, most likely, stay in a hotel at Media City. But I would also keep an eye out for pet sittings in and around Manchester in case something suitable popped up to avoid me having to pay for accommodation.
I booked my train tickets and annual leave in mid-January, and then in late February, a couple of possible sittings came up through Trusted Housesitters and I applied for both.
To my joy and surprise, I received a positive reply to one of the applications the morning after I applied, with the invitation to a virtual meet and greet in early March. And I received an invitation to sit from the other, mere hours after the first pet parent responded.
While I would happily have spent a long weekend entertaining and being entertained by a corgi called Winston in Manchester itself, I held out for the virtual meet and greet with the owner of a cat, Peter, and (wait for it...) two peacocks, Bowie and Mercury, in a cottage near the village of Delamere in Cheshire, about an hour and ten minutes on the train from Manchester.
I was apprehensive about the prospect of sitting peacocks, but the location, the cottage and the opportunity to experience such things, were too good for me not to apply and find out more.
Long story short: my hour-and-a-half phone call with the pets' parent reassured me I wasn't taking on something I couldn't handle, and I was pleased to be offered the sit.
Peter the cat is a dentist, so I can't show you his face.
Or rather, for privacy reasons, I can't share photos of the pets I sat or the home I stayed in. But I will share plenty of photos from my time exploring a stretch of the Sandstone Trail, the nearby Delamere Forest, the walk up the Old Pale hill, and my walk between Delamere Railway Station, Delamare, Oakmere and Kelsall villages over the coming months (or years, knowing me).
The peacocks are beautiful creatures and seemed to warm to me over the few days I was there, though not enough to feed from my hand. I was less comfortable with the Angus bulls I encountered, though thankfully, none charged me. Sir Peter was an absolute sweetheart, and probably the snuggliest cat I've ever encountered.
The above photo was taken near the junction of the Sandstone Trail with the path from Delamere Railway Station.
The weather was somewhat unpredictable, with strong winds and short-lived showers creeping up on me, but I managed to experience some lovely spring weather and even get a bit of colour in my face (and my freckles came out) on my last full day wandering. It was a few degrees cooler than London, at about 7-9 degrees each day, but with a coat, mittens and leg warmers, and the body heat generated by walking, it was quite pleasant, and on the last day, more like sweater weather once I was moving.
I hope to return to sit those beautiful beasties again and explore more of the local area. I decided to forego wandering the forest itself, as on the Sunday I was there, every man and his dog and child (literally) was out doing just that. And Delamere is a perfect spot to explore nearby villages and venture further afield to Chester, Liverpool and Manchester.
of gorse
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 21 March 2024].
friends in high places
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 March 2024].
I returned home from a week in Llandudno, Wales, on Friday.
After sitting Meg and Mog in Minera in October 2021, the Avanti West Coast (AWC) leg of my journey back to London was cancelled. I contacted them to see if I might be eligible for partial compensation, even though I had a flexible ticket to allow me to catch alternative trains from Chester to London. I arrived only half an hour later than scheduled, though I had to stand in a doorway with my suitcase on an overcrowded train from Stafford to Euston when I'd had a reserved seat on the original train.
They initially issued me two vouchers for free first-class advance single travel anywhere on the AWC network within one year of issue.
Because of my finances and life, I didn't try to book them until the last day they were valid, with fingers firmly crossed I would be able to use them. That's when I found the voucher codes didn't work.
It was an issue on their part, so AWC reissued the vouchers, and they randomly issued me a third voucher. I'm still not entirely sure the third voucher wasn't a mistake, but who am I to argue with free travel?!
Once again, finances and life meant I waited until the last minute to use the vouchers. This time, all vouchers worked the first time.
I booked tickets based on quick searches for accommodation and suitable dates for leave from work, pushing things out as far as possible. I honestly didn't know if I could afford the accommodation for each or even one of them.
Ultimately, for my first trip away, I found a suitable studio flat in a converted house a short walk from the centre of Llandudno (let's be fair: everything in Llandudno is a 'short walk' from the centre) on Airbnb.
As the flat was listed by a company, not an individual, out of curiosity, I looked for it as a direct rental. I found it only slightly cheaper via the Finest Retreats website, but I also found a one-bedroom flat in the same building on their site for the same price.
Green versus blue.
Blue is my favourite colour, and a studio flat was sufficient for my needs.
But the green flat had floral wallpaper. It would allow me to create new wallflowers self-portraits.
You can guess the decision I made.
I shared several mobile photos from my trip on my Instagram during the week. But I have copious photos I took with my Nikon D700 during the week, which I'll share early access here in due course, including the wallflowers self-portraits I took on one of my "rest days" when the weather was not so great.
While staying in Llandudno, I walked the length of Marine Drive, the road that circles Great Orme, a limestone headland jutting out into the Irish Sea just behind where I stayed.
On the first day of walking around Great Orme, I could hear sheep baa-ing above me soon after passing the toll gate. The signage told me to expect sheep and goats along the way and warned me against approaching them.
The first time I heard them, I could only just see them above me (the photograph above).
At a later point, I turned to look back to where I'd come from and saw some sheep on a ledge above the road (as shown in the other three photographs).
A couple and their small child were coming around the curve of the road behind me. I caught the father's eye and gestured to the sheep, thinking he would point them out to his child.
Instead, he responded in a blasé fashion, "Yes, they're everywhere". I mentioned I had heard them further back but could barely see them. He commented on my camera's lens as if my only interest was photographing them.
Maybe he was a local, and it was all in a day's walk for him. Perhaps he was having a trying day.
But I thought to myself (and maybe muttered under my breath) that I hope I never lose my sense of wonder like he had seemed to.
I hope I never find sheep and goats hanging out on a ledge well above my head or below the road on sheer cliffs and grassy outcrops utterly and unspeakably ordinary and uninteresting, even if I lived in a place where I saw it every day.
What a dull life that would be.
pay here
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 March 2024].
she hath done what she could
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 6 March 2024].<
Often, when I'm perusing my catalogue of unedited photos to share, one will pop out at me, and I just know it's right to share at this moment in time.
It may not always be the most eye-catching or aesthetically pleasing photograph.
But it captures where my mind or heart is right now.
Or it depicts a place, an object, a plant, etc., that - when I research it further - is relevant to something in my life at that moment and clicks.
This photograph I took in Cornubia Lutheran Cemetery, also known as Carbrook Lutheran Cemetery, did that for me today.
prunus cerasifera
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 March 2024].
Some Prunus cerasifera flowers I captured last Saturday during a solo photo walk in Hitchin.
Spring is coming.
owt wet
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 February 2024].
coaxing life from death
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 26 February 2024].
a year later... or thereabouts.
So, it's been a year since Mum passed. Well, kind of.
I mean, she died at 06:10 on 1 March 2023 AEDT, but for me, that means her time of death was actually 19:10 GMT on 28 February 2023.
So, for me, that should mean the anniversary of her passing was on 28 February 2024.
Except that this year is a leap year, so 06:10 AEDT on 1 March 2024 was 19:10 GMT on 29 February 2024.
Confused yet?
If I base the anniversary on the date she passed away in Australia (as that's where she was), then I'm posting this late. But it's still only 1 March 2024 here in London, so I guess I get longer to mark the anniversary.
Has anyone noticed I possess a certain sentimentality and a penchant for marking such important dates at precisely the right moment?
Though I didn't have a chance to post about it at either of the potentially recognised moments, it's been on my mind for some time, particularly during the evening on 28 February when it felt like I should acknowledge the passing of a year since her death.
Dad and I acknowledged the anniversary within the hour of her passing on 1 March 2024, his time, in our family WhatsApp chat.
Yesterday afternoon, a little before and a little after my day's sitting with Francois ended, and before I left for my first sitting of the year with my regulars, I edited these two photos to share with this post acknowledging the anniversary.
Although I don't think she had any particular preference for daffodils (I don't remember them appearing often within bouquets she bought or received), her death will now be inextricably linked to them in my mind because of her passing on St David's Day and, in particular, because of her Welsh ancestry.
So, I was already thinking ahead to today when I photographed these two specimens in Frank's backyard the last weekend I sat him in mid-February. Knowing there would be photographs of daffodils as part of my tribute to her this year, as I have access to very few photos of her, and most I've already shared. While thinking ahead to the date and time conundrum as the impact of this leap year had already occurred to me by then.
One thing I didn't get to do while I was visiting Dad was to pore over their photo albums. Two weeks isn't a long time when you're working part-time, sorting through your deceased mother's personal effects and catching up with family you haven't seen in person in about three years.
I didn't know how I would feel one year on. If I'm honest, I still don't.
I mean, there's definitely been a sea of emotions surging around me for the past week or so.
I initially hoped to write my thoughts on the "exact" anniversary (for me). But practical matters had to be dealt with. So, instead, I sort of softly welled up thinking about it without having the time or capacity to put the feelings into words. But knowing I would when I could.
I know it's cliched to say it feels like less than a year, but in the same breath, to say it feels more than a year. But it does.
It's been less than a year since we said goodbye as a family and scattered her ashes.
It's been more than a year since she and I last spoke. Or rather, I spoke to her, as she didn't have many words left by then.
So, the passing of time since her passing has been warped and bent. Though that's not uncommon. I know others feel similarly about the passing of their loved ones, even without the added confusion of leap years interfering with their marking of time.
I wrote a lot about her last year. And I don't doubt I will write more in time. I took photos while visiting my family in Australia that triggered memories, anecdotes, and so forth that I hope to capture in words. Some I'll capture for myself. Others I'll share.
In the meantime, as Spring drags its feet returning to England, the daffodils rush in and bloom on the verges and traffic islands, in suburban gardens, central London parks, cemeteries, the local supermarket, the vase in the entry to our building placed there by my Welsh neighbour who lives downstairs. And in my mind.
For Mum. In her memory.
puffball convention
west lane baptist church
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 February 2024].
strapped in
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 February 2024].
sowbread
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 February 2024].
Some Cyclamen hederifolium I photographed in the churchyard of St Nicholas' Church in Arundel while visiting in September 2021.
things of stone and wood
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 February 2024].
so he brought them to the haven where they would be
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 February 2024].