[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 24 December 2021].
pilgrimage
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 December 2021].
half-eaten
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 11 December 2021].
you're living all over me
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 3 December 2021].
climbers
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 26 November 2021].
untitled #88
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 20 November 2021].
shelf life
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 November 2021].
untitled #84
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 7 November 2021].
clustered in the churchyard
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 October 2021].
I stumbled across a large cluster of puffball mushrooms in the churchyard of St Mary's Church in Minera last Monday.
Just one of many enjoyable discoveries on my 5.5-hour photo walk that day.
I finally had a chance to import my photos from my travels to Wales last night, and I'm looking forward to sharing them with you!
I wanted to write a post about my visit after returning from my walk that day. But I was so utterly exhausted I fell asleep on the couch and ended up enjoying some kitteh snuggles and TV instead, in recovery from such a great physical exertion.
I hope to write and share that post in the coming week, along with at least one photograph from my time in Wales.
In the meantime, I have no new cat-sitting gigs coming up yet, so I'm looking forward to sharing new work with you more regularly again from the comfort of my own home.
I'll also share the final chapter I'd written of embers back in 2016 this weekend as a patron-only post on Patreon.
I'm hoping to take part in NaNoWriMo again this year. Let me know if you decide to give it a go too. A cheer squad is always helpful!
layer upon layer
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 9 October 2021].
Today was a good day.
Scott and I explored the New River (neither new nor a river) from Hornsey to Finsbury Park and took a lot of photographs.
One of my favourite ways to spend a Friday. Or any day, really.
untitled #83
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 1 October 2021].
jarring
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 28 September 2021].
Hello, my lovelies.
I'm so sorry for the radio silence the past week or so.
I have a lot to update you on. And I had hoped, finally, to do so tonight.
But I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment for various reasons. I feel like the kittehs are feeling the same way tonight. Everything feels a little on edge.
Tomorrow is my last full day of cat-sitting. I'll return to my flat sometime on Thursday.
I'm hoping to spend most of tomorrow and perhaps some of Thursday taking self-portraits. Something I've ended up not having very much time for during my stay, unfortunately.
But tonight, as the rain falls, savouring the company of my feline companions feels like the right thing to do.
Where rain is usually my calmative, I'm finding it slightly anxiety-inducing and distracting tonight. It's jarring for someone who loves the sound and smell of rain to feel like this.
dip in the forest
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 10 September 2021].
untitled #174
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 27 August 2021].
I took a little break from #FungiFriday the past few weeks, but today they're back :)
respect your elders
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 12 August 2021].
in the mush pit
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 30 July 2021].
Today was a mostly good day.
I had wondered the other night and had it confirmed this morning that I hadn't actually cracked the screen on my phone! The cracks and damage were actually the Belkin Invisiglass screen protector taking the bulk of the impact of my phone being dropped on bathroom tile.
The replacement of the screen protector cost more than my phone screen on its own would have cost (as my AppleCare+ is still current): £29.99 vs £25. But the complete lack of damage to my phone screen meant replacement only cost me £29.99 instead of £54.99.
And it wasn't a wasted journey as the replacement protector can only be applied in-store. They're vigilant in avoiding dust between the screen and protector, so it took two goes for them to get it perfect, but I'm thankful for their perfectionism.
I highly endorse these screen protectors. It took two years to crack, and in that time, it's taken quite a few hard knocks without damage. And in all that time, my screen has remained in pristine condition.
I then did a few small shopping tasks on the high street. That emboldened me to do a grocery shop. I managed it all okay, but stopped short of walking home with my groceries and paid for a minicab.
Despite how well the day had gone, I still found myself having a "nanna" nap this afternoon/evening. My body's way of reminding me that I'm still in recovery.
I don't know how long this will last, but the neighbour who took me to the Apple store today warned me that a friend of hers is still napping every day, about 15 months or more after having Covid.
After today, I'm hoping to get at least some of the flat cleaned this weekend, but I acknowledge it may take longer than expected.
I'm also hopeful of getting more photo editing done this weekend. But I think the remainder of tonight will be spent resting.
emergence
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 23 July 2021].
Hello, my lovelies!
I'm so sorry for the radio silence, but today has been my first good day since my update on Monday. Conversely, yesterday was probably tied for worst since I started experiencing Covid-19 symptoms on Wednesday, 14 July.
It's been a long week punctuated by the most intense headaches I've ever experienced. As well as dizzy spells, wobbliness, checking blood oxygen levels, fevers, odd aches and pains, fatigue, dehydration, head sweats and an almost complete loss of appetite.
I managed to go all the way until yesterday without crying. But the headache I'd had since at least 23:30 on Tuesday finally broke me, then it broke me further an hour or two later.
I spent most of yesterday afternoon wanting to gouge my left eye and about three inches behind it out with a grapefruit spoon. When I gave up on the lounge and watching even short YouTube videos and went back to bed, I remember wondering whether, if I called 111, they would send me out a drip.
I've always had empathy for those with conditions that cause chronic fatigue due to the fatigue and lethargy that often accompanies my depression. But it has increased tenfold after spending so much time this week exhausted by the most basic activities.
My sense of smell returned on Wednesday after being MIA since probably Friday (I didn't realise until Saturday afternoon). Though, I'm not sure it's back to 100% yet.
Since late yesterday evening, I've had a clear head with only the need for one dose of painkillers today. Ironically, I don't think it was a Covid-related headache.
I've managed to complete some life admin I'd hoped to do on Monday before being told by the GP to stop. I had a 1.5 hour Skype call with my Dad. I still rested when I needed to and resisted the urge to overdo things and anger the Covid gods again.
Barring any unforeseen relapse, I'll try to do more tomorrow, including starting to de-Covidify my bed and flat.
On the positive side: my week was also full of friends and family calling, messaging, commenting and cheering from the sidelines for me to get better, and I am so incredibly grateful for every single one of them.
Apart from Sunday evening, which I posted about here, I haven't had time to feel isolated or alone since, because of all of my lovely friends and family.
In the process, I learned that by catching Covid between doses of the vaccine, I may develop much greater immunity. And I've lost 3.1kg since 14 July.
Please note: I do not endorse this method of gaining hybrid immunity against Covid-19 or weight loss. I would rate the experience -5/10. Would not do again.
I'm hoping to be back to (near) daily posting again from now on.
I hope your week has been better than mine xx
locked out
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 17 July 2021].
So today, continuing the theme for the year, the result for the PCR test I took yesterday came back positive for Covid-19.
Because, of course.
Though, hilariously, because of everything else that's already happened this year, somehow, this is the least upsetting or disappointing piece of news I've received in the past seven to eight months.
It just seems like another piece of the puzzle that is my 2021.
Thank Science, I'd already had one dose of the vaccine, so the worst of it already seems to have passed.
No thanks to all the English football fans on the Tube on Sunday shouting 'It's coming home!' at the top of their lungs. While wearing masks around their necks instead of over their massive gobs.
Even with all my obsessive hand-sanitising, masking and not touching a damned thing while commuting, I'm sure that's where I caught it. And based on my symptoms, I'd lay bets it was the much more contagious (but, thankfully, less deadly) Delta strain.
Amusingly, today, as I completed the NHS Test and Trace documentation after receiving my results, I realised I have, in fact, lost my sense of smell. Though not my sense of taste.
To confirm this, I:
sniffed heavily of my dried thyme (which has been my go-to for checking for covid previously),
stuck my nose into a large jar of peanut butter, and
sniffed rosemary and oregano in their bottles.
All registered a complete blank for scent.
Despite not having showered since leaving the flat at 11:30 yesterday to go for the PCR test, further confirmation has been provided by my apparent lack of body odour at 19:00 the next day. Anyone who knows me and knows how I sweat in 26-degree heat (yesterday's temperature), especially after walking for more than 90 minutes, knows this is a physical impossibility. My sense of smell has definitely left the building.
And, I guess, so has my shock and indignation at anything 2021 has left to throw at me.
mushed rooms
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 16 July 2021].
The past two days have mostly been a write-off.
Apart from an official call, some personal calls, a chat with a good friend on FB Messenger and a couple of minor tasks yesterday, I spent most of the day sleeping or trying to sleep. I managed to eat and keep my fluids up, but not much else.
Wednesday and Thursday brought a day and a half of coughing, headaches and mild temperatures. In the wee hours of this morning, I must have had a fever, as I woke up with my t-shirt drenched and clinging to me. So today, I went to the nearest walk-through Covid-19 testing site for my first ever PCR test.
I still feel it's more likely just a head cold knocking me for six after not being ill since early in 2019. But there were enough potential signs from both the early variants and the Delta variant for me to err on the side of caution and do the right thing by my fellow citizens.
Thankfully, by this morning, I felt more confident in my ability to complete a 90-minute round-trip on foot to the testing centre. Unfortunately, I was still too out of it to think about putting on SPF50 for the journey.
If I had thought of it, I possibly also would have worried about sunscreen contaminating the test. But, at least, I would have slathered the sunscreen on my arms and taken it with me to apply to my face for the return journey.
Alas, no good deed goes unpunished. So, to add to my poor health, I now have a fierce sunburn on my forehead, nose, upper arms and around the front of my neck. Suffice to say, the sunburn didn't improve my headache any.
On the positive side (thank goodness there is almost always a positive side!): I took a detour on the way back through Tottenham Cemetery, including a wander around the lake there, a few glimpses of the River Moselle, and communed with the Canadian geese, pigeons, squirrels, and some other birds I didn't recognise.
I'm feeling vaguely more human now. Enough to do some small pieces, like edit the above image to share with you. But I'll likely call it a night again soon and hope my test results come back negative tomorrow and that this was all just a nasty head cold.
Either way - and at the risk of cursing myself - I seem to have passed the worst of it now.
For those who'd like to know: I spotted these fellows at the base of a tree in The Royal Oak's car park in Ashbourne as I was departing the hotel after a hearty breakfast with my parents in June 2017.
I hope you're keeping well xx
wrinkled
[I originally posted this entry as early access for my Patreon patrons on 9 July 2021].
If I recall correctly - and the metadata would seem to support my belief - these fun guys were growing on the edge of Cornubia Lutheran Cemetery. Also known as Carbrook Lutheran Cemetery, it's a private cemetery.
There were three different types of fungi growing there that I photographed. I also have photos of some developing fungi, but I'd need to confirm which mushrooms they're the babes of.
These were taken the day after my birthday in 2009. My parents and I took a drive together to explore what ended up being three different cemeteries in the area around where they lived at the time.
Those closest to me know me well and indulge my photographic obsessions. I'm thankful those people have included my parents. Even if they, like others, have rolled their eyes from time to time. Or chosen not to look at photographs I've taken of roadkill or other disturbing subjects I've captured.
Yesterday evening ended up being less productive than planned.
Against my better judgment, I let myself engage with anti-vaxxers on Nextdoor for the first time in a while. I shouldn't have.
After doing some chores around the flat ahead of tomorrow's viewing, I also let myself watch some US right-wing media indulging in bullshit talking points. Call it masochism, but I tend to do it to ensure that I'm seeing this stuff in context and not automatically taking the left-wing media's side of the story. Every single time, watching the entire piece is more damning than any left-wing analysis of soundbites from it.
Every. Single. Time.
I'm constantly amazed by what people will believe. How gullible and lacking in critical thinking they must be to not question what they're being sold. How blatant the bullshit is. It's gobsmacking, and I regularly want to shake these presenters, "journalists", whatever you want to call them. ("Shaking" is the least violent action I can think of. And I'm not a violent person, but many of these people incite violent responses in me).
Related: last night, I watched the penultimate episode of Can't Get You Out of My Head: An Emotional History of the Modern World, a six-part BBC documentary created by British filmmaker Adam Curtis.
I'm generally not a fan of libertarianism (at least not the way it's been co-opted by the right-wing). And that seems to be how Curtis most closely identifies himself, though he doesn't really identify himself as anything politically. But I've learned a lot/been inspired to learn more through watching the series. And the first four episodes inspired much deeper discussions about the content and narrative when I wasn't watching them alone.
Having not yet watched the final episode, I don't exactly know where Curtis is leading. And from past experience, he's very good at identifying issues but not providing any solutions and making the viewer feel even more helpless and demoralised than before viewing (see: Hypernormalisation). But episode five definitely seemed to endorse a more critical review of what Brits and Americans - and by extension, Australians - have been taught about the mythological history of their countries. Which is especially relevant right now, in my opinion.
PS: This took me far longer than it should have to edit and post because of the regular excessive noise from my neighbours over my back fence. It should have been shared an hour ago. Please remind me why I'm signing up for a new 12-month lease soon..?