095 acorn

Day ninety-five of The 100 Day Project for 2021.

So, none of this sketch is perfect. Strangely, I think I rendered Simon's index finger most accurately. And, arguably, the acorn is the worst-proportioned of all the elements in it. Go figure...

I drew the initial sketch with a 4H pencil then overdrew it with a mixture of 2B, B, HB and H pencils.

Editing the source photo for yesterday's sketch inspired a bunch of thoughts. At some point, they may become an instalment of one of my "extended play" 100 Day Project projects: postcard from another's life. I would need to find an appropriate photo in my archive or take the right image to accompany the piece of writing. I'm sure it will happen, though.

I'm looking forward to getting back to other ongoing projects after this one ends.

I think I've reconciled myself to the fact the next instalment of my Love Letters to London won't make it online until this project is finished.

I'm planning to try to get back on track as soon as this project is done. So that it becomes a monthly treat for you (and me!) in the latter half of the year.

Similarly, I have plenty of inspiration and impetus for more digital collages.

I have a series I've previously mentioned to start that's just waiting for me to do some manual labour and some fresh photography in between everything else.

My mind has also returned to a medium that's intrigued me for over 16 years. One I've been meaning to learn and master. I need to work that into my schedule this year.

And, hilariously, my mind has already started jumping to ideas for next year's 100 Day Project. No spoilers! Especially as I may not wait until next year to start on at least sporadic experiments in those areas.

But this year just has a way of throwing those curveballs. Just when you think it's done with all that and going to calm the fuck down.

So, you know, I'm not going to turn into George R. R. Martin and take a gazillion years to write the next instalment. But I'll be honest and tell you I'm doing what I can to keep on top of things and get back up to date with things like my Love Letters, but life has a way of getting in the way.

I hope you understand xx

View fullsize

092 leaves

Day ninety-two of The 100 Day Project for 2021.

I was looking for a word to describe how I've felt for parts of the past 48 hours.

The word my mind curled around was melancholia, but it's not quite right in that it's a longer-term, more pervasive form of depression.

From my understanding, it's a more extreme version of the anhedonia I was diagnosed as suffering from in 2007.

But the origin of the word still kind of fits with yesterday's sketch.

My attempt to delineate the leaves from the background to better define them (in my mind, at least) makes it look like a bird (or bird skeleton) bursting at the beak and "seams" with black bile.

If you can see two leaves curled into each other in this sketch, then all I can say is that you're in a better place than me.

curling into you was the title I used on Instagram in September 2020 when I shared the source photograph for this sketch and a similar one. The only "bad" thing about that day - apart from the pandemic (though we were able to "eat out to help out" then) - was that I decided not to take my DSLR with me.

And that's why I know I'm not suffering from anhedonia or melancholia right now. Even though I feel exceedingly flat and teary.

Because these thoughts trigger feelings of nostalgia. An urge to return. Thoughts of wandering through Hampstead Heath Extension; exploring the area; discovering a never-opened Tube station; and eating one of our first pub meals after the first lockdown. It still brings back feelings of pleasure.

I guess that's one reason to be thankful. Even if my psyche is a mess of emotions now and on and off for the past 48 hours.

Yesterday was the first time in this year's project that I let myself start again because my first attempt was incredibly off. Not only that but, after the second attempt - starting from a different point - was clearly not going to work, I allowed myself to choose a new source image.

I "wasted" a page (both sides), but it just wouldn't come to me. Not even in an amateur way, like the tuxedo cat.

Maybe it was because I was tired, emotionally distracted or slightly tipsy. (Though that hasn't been an issue in the past. From the point of view of correct perspective, sure, but not to the extent I just can't). Or maybe I just wasn't actually able to process the specifics of the source image.

Maybe I'll try it again before I finish the project. We'll see.

This sketch was drawn with a 4H pencil then overdrawn with an H pencil, a 2B and an HB. The darker shading was done with the 2B pencil.

View fullsize